About Us

Chris Kostoff

I was born and raised in Dearborn, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit. I went to school at the University of Michigan and received my bachelor’s degree in psychology. I immediately moved to San Francisco and then to Berkeley and worked at the counseling center at U.C. Berkeley doing a variety of jobs.

I married and moved to Colorado and began working as a social worker. After two years in Colorado, my husband and I moved to Sonoma County in 1972, and I began working in the Sonoma County Social Service Dept. I divorced and went back to school at the University of San Francisco for my master’s degree in counseling. I then began working in Child Protective Services with children in foster care. After a number of years there, I worked in Adult Protective Services for the remainder of my career.

My interest in aging with conscious awareness comes from the fact that I am an aging elder, 75 years old, and also from the fact that I was raised in a 3 generation household and always had respect for my elders. Many of the elders in my life were a repository of knowledge, values, support and wonderful stories of their lives.

I hope to share what I have learned on my journey and to gain knowledge from other people’s journeys. We don’t stop learning when we become an elder and we have much to share with other elders and with the younger generations coming behind us.

Conscious Aging Women mission statement

As an aging woman of 75, I am facing my personal crossroads. Do I it sit back, review my life and enjoy the pleasures I already have and slowly ride into the sunset. Or do I see this last stage of my life as an invitation to pursue activities that I didn't have the time or courage to pursue. Either choice is valid.

When I make these choices, it is important for me to make the choices that I wish to make and not the choices that family, friends or culture approve for me. And it is of paramount importance that I acknowledge the store of knowledge, courage and wisdom that I have accumulated during my life when I make my choices. I am no longer that young woman so unsure of her abilities striving to form an adult identity and direction in life.

As an elder, I have lived through many successes and many failures that have given me the strength, perspective and emotional resiliency that I need to not only face the realities of my elder years but to also have the faith and self-confidence to pursue new adventures. That is one of the many gifts living a long life gives, I can appreciate the knowledge and strength I have accumulated and use my experiences to expand my life instead of contracting myself. There really is a new freedom that living long confers on me and I get to make the decision whether to use that freedom.

Jean Eilerman

Jean Eilerman was born on the east coast in Philadelphia Pa. She has since lived across the country in Ohio, San Diego, Fargo and Santa Rosa, Ca. Jean and her husband have travelled extensively, from Alaska to Antarctica and from Peru to Nepal.

She has degrees in Religious Education, Counseling Psychology and Humanistic Psychology and has worked as a Teacher and Marriage and Family Therapist.

At this juncture, as she is navigating the aging process, she and her friend, Chris, are wanting to assist themselves and others to realize that aging is a fulfillment time, rather than what we are often told is a journey into uselessness! This is a sacred time of development when WISDOM and COMPASSION can restore the world to all those yearning for places of balance and goodness and justice and hope!

We trust this new website can be a place of exploration and opening and self-treasuring for all who come here!

The Crossroads of Aging: Who are we? and Where are we going?

As a 78 year-old woman, I am also right in the middle of this. I don't think it is a one-time choice, but choices that are made often, if not every day. As a person in a private practice, I did not directly answer to any boss. This made it difficult to every say, "I am retired." It wasn't a category I was included in because "retirement" just came from me, and I had no list of requirements, other than not working a full schedule.

Eventally, I decided I did not want to do what I had been doing for so long. I just needed to do what I felt "called to". Of course, none of this had any salary attached!

I had worked in some fashion since high school. This took lots of time and energy, but helped to get us through financially, after my Father died when I was fourteen.

Age has just happened. I didn't pay particular attention since I generally felt the same, except for some physical issues. When someone said in an offhand way to me, "It's okay Honey", about something or other, I felt myself react: "Don't call me Honey!" Then, I realized that the treatment so many other older women received was mine as well!

That's where the crossroad comes in for me. It was time to see who I was and what I wanted. Was it important to me to step back from participation in life and be treated with sad, understanding smiles, or to just be myself with all my quirks and interests and commitments? How would society deal with me? Why was the culture demeaning us and putting out the same old messages about age? Until we are there, and begin to feel it directly, we may not even notice.

Now what do we do? Which crossroad do we choose, stay silent and not be a part of life and thought, or remain as we are and even go beyond who we have always been - to honor the new pulls and aliveness in us?

Choosing regularly may be a fact for us, as things tend to shift. Physical issues are real, money matters are needing attention, places to live that we might enjoy are on a short list, mental acuity may be diminishing and getting around as we once did can change in a second as driving privileges being to close down. Change is rampant. And, in the middle of it all, we ask: Who Are We? What Do We Care About? Where Do We Want To Go?